cheese – They're Just Words

Posted on July 3, 2018July 2, 2018 by Patrick

Free Cheese

If you weren’t homeless or destitute or prone to dreaming about Kraft Singles, how long would you stand in line for free cheese? In Tillamook, Oregon it would appear to be a daily habit and thousands and thousands of our nation’s most lactose-tolerant will stand on line until, well, until the cows come home for what amounts to a sweaty little handful of cheese cubes. At first, it appears to be a sickness, the kind that makes fat people fatter, but then it suddenly becomes endearing and American and, finally, you realize that these free-cheese-cube-hander-outers should be celebrated as the shrewd cheddar pimps they truly are.

Posted on April 3, 2018April 2, 2018 by Patrick

Just Cheesy Enough

If you eat enough meals with enough people the in-between-bite topic will surely turn to what you like. “You like corn?” “Ya, Fritos Scoops mostly.” “Do you eat potatoes?” “The French fry is one of the four basic food groups.” “How about cheese?” “I eat anything that you can squirt from a can.”