They're Just Words – Page 11 – The Writings Of Patrick Macke

Posted on February 21, 2020February 21, 2020 by Patrick

Just Send Me Any Clothes You Want

I heard a commercial that said something like, “Just send us the names of your favorite brands and we’ll send you back some clothes that you’re sure to like.” I thought to myself, That’s a really stupid idea! But then I realized that I live in a society where knuckleheads spend all of their free time inventing solutions to problems that don’t exist. The dumb ideas never stop – shirts that don’t have to be tucked in, socks that come in sizes like shoes, strollers made for dogs, people grocery shopping for you, razor blade delivery because shaving is the hardest thing men will ever have to do and it requires new blades every day.

Posted on January 10, 2020January 10, 2020 by Patrick

Tommy Logic

If you’re like most people, you probably spend every waking minute thinking about Tom Brady. It’s only natural, in Elizabethan times people fixated on Shakespeare, during the Great Depression, Roosevelt was top of mind, in the 21st century it’s Brady.

Posted on October 28, 2019October 28, 2019 by Patrick

Fat Air

You know those little bins at airline gates that say, “If your carry-on bag doesn’t fit in here it won’t fit in the overhead compartment?” Well, soon, next to it, there will be another, larger container. All prospective passengers will be asked to limbo into it and the sign on the outside says, “If you can’t fit into this container you cannot fit onto this plane.”