Posted on by Patrick

The Winter Ramblings Of The “Cranky Old Guy”

Hey!, look who it is, the “Cranky Old Guy.” He can show up without warning and, really, without being invited. But since he’s old and kinda pathetic we feel obligated to let him have his say when he stumbles in. Today he seems to be mostly agitated about the Winter Olympic Games or, as Americans call them, the Spin-Aimlessly-And-Fall-On-The-Ice Games. His mind does tend to wander, however, and when you spend your days asking yourself questions that can never be answered, you end up obsessing about strange things. Ladies and gentlemen, the rambling mind of the C.O.G.

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Posted on by Patrick

Cranky Old Guy & The Questions That Can’t Be Answered.

In what probably won’t seem like much of a diversion from what is typically posted in this space, today I am introducing “Cranky Old Guy” as a guest columnist at They’re Just Words. You probably know “Cranky Old Guy” or someone like him, he may be your neighbor or coworker, he could live at your house. He can’t handle things that defy logic and he is ill-equipped to deal with most aspects of the modern world, so he tells kids to get the hell off his lawn and shakes his head a lot asking himself rhetorical questions. He’s not really looking for answers to those questions, he just likes to complain. I’m glad I’m nothing like him, but in many ways, I love this old fuckin’ guy.

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Posted on by Patrick

The Things You Never Need To Do Twice

There are a lot of things you have to do in life, the secret is, the key to happiness in many ways, is knowing those things you never have to do twice. Well, depending on who you talk to, some of these things you get to do or have the pleasure of doing, but I say the things on the list are a general pain in the ass and I’m bitter about having to do them in the first place and I’ll be damned if I’ll do them twice. No, life is full of big broad categories whereby you should just have to check the box and be done with it … forever.

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