It’s Just Like Fantasy Football

It’s Christmas eve and we’re looking for God. We’re watching two TVs, football on one and on the other, for some reason, we’re watching a Band of Brothers marathon. Band of Brothers of course being the saga of Easy Company spitting blood and bullets across Europe from D-Day to the end of World War II … and so we sit, hunkered down in our 21st-century bunkers, feeling bad that we can’t drink beers on the sidewalk in a suburb of a country that has fought and died over stuff so much more epic than the flu.

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Our Balding Society

It’s disturbing how many balding men I see every day. Maybe dudes are working too much or maybe the gene pool is hideously fractured or maybe men in this country are just a bunch of pussies and they cower at the first strand of hair they find in their combs and decide they should adopt baldness as their pathetic destiny.

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