It’s Christmas eve and we’re looking for God. We’re watching two TVs, football on one and on the other, for some reason, we’re watching a Band of Brothers marathon. Band of Brothers of course being the saga of Easy Company spitting blood and bullets across Europe from D-Day to the end of World War II … and so we sit, hunkered down in our 21st-century bunkers, feeling bad that we can’t drink beers on the sidewalk in a suburb of a country that has fought and died over stuff so much more epic than the flu.
Read moreOur Balding Society
It’s disturbing how many balding men I see every day. Maybe dudes are working too much or maybe the gene pool is hideously fractured or maybe men in this country are just a bunch of pussies and they cower at the first strand of hair they find in their combs and decide they should adopt baldness as their pathetic destiny.
Read moreIt’s Offensive, And Not Just Bearly
The people who want to sell you Charmin bathroom tissue have lost their fuckin’ minds – in a foul and disgusting way. Of course, no one buys bathroom tissue, we buy, and probably hoard, fuckin’ toilet paper and I guess that’s where the big con starts. Read more