With the Sweetest Sixteen now revealed (see the attached updated bracket below) in the world’s best ever candy bracket it’s time for reflection on what we’ve learned from the literally hundreds of candy conversations we’ve had over the past couple of weeks. Turns out candy is a form of therapy and a much-needed diversion for lots and lots of people and even the more subdued among us are still fairly serious on the subject and hold completely biased feelings about what they want most from the candy store.
- Candy is candy and chocolate is chocolate and chocolate isn’t candy in the same way cookies aren’t cake, even though most chocolate is called a candy bar and both cookies and cakes are baked. Got it?
- Why doesn’t Disneyland have a Candyland? Walt dropped the ball there.
- Almost everyone who submitted a bracket had at least one complaint about a favorite candy that was snubbed from this year’s tournament. In most cases, the left-out candy on their list was excluded because it was too obscure or it too closely resembled a candy that did make the list or, alas, because the complainer was the only person on earth who likes that crappy candy. Among the “left out” seemed to be missed most were, Mike & Ike, Boston Baked Beans, Runts, Jawbreakers, Milk Duds, Lik-M-Aid/Fun Dip.
- Lots of players wanted to submit candidates for the world’s worse candy, with a lot of people listing barfy candy like Mary Janes, Jujubes, Twizzlers, Snocaps and the underappreciated Circus Peanuts. Almost everyone who had disgusting candy on their minds had one candy on the tip of their tongue – the Mounds Bar.
- First-Round Intrigue – There were several absolute ass-kickings in the first round, Reese’s shutout tired ol’ Hershey’s Bar, Jolly Ranchers really put it on Bottlecaps and in two matchups the experts didn’t really see coming, Andes Mints made a mess out of candy canes and Werther’s humiliated Peeps.
- Round 1 Barn-Burners – Necco Wafers and Pez really mixed it up shot for shot until the little discs from New England pulled it out. After Dinner Mints was remarkably stout against Red Hots, but the Hots burned them in the end, and in a chewy matchup that produced numerous lead changes, the Sour Straws/Belts upset Gummi Bears sending the candy carnivores back to the forest or tundra or wherever.
- Almost all of the second-round matches were blowouts with the exception of action in the Candy Bar Region. Peanut M&Ms barely held on to best Twix (thank God) and Kit-Kat had its hands full with Butterfinger before finally prevailing.
- The biggest surprise of the tournament? That has to be Andes Mints who absolutely had their way with two overmatched opponents. Tootsie Pop has also had a nice run and, quite frankly, Rolos has benefited greatly from not being placed in the hyper-competitive Candy Bar Region.
You gotta believe at this point that whoever emerges from the Candy Bar Region is the odds-on favorite to take it all.