Tom Brady and I are the same in so, so many ways. For starters, we are both almost universally despised, me because I know everything about, well, almost everything and Tom because he’s really good at sports. Our similarities have created a bond over the years and that relationship has meant a lot to me, and I know he feels the same. Now, as his spirals begin to wobble and his legs start to go, as he begins to fall down in the pocket when defensive tackles threaten his safe space I think it is an appropriate time to capture some heartfelt sentiments.

We are all Patriots, Tommy and me
Red, white and blue for everyone to see,
You were money on Super Sunday, producing confetti from the sky
Now the time draws near, we can see the end, and so we must consider, goodbye.

Was it really that long ago that you were treated like dirt
When you were a sixth-round pick, an afterthought, and Drew Bledsoe got hurt,
But even then there were signs, you wouldn’t be kept down
You did your job, paid the price and threw it to Troy Brown.

You won the big game back to back and things at times were heated
They cursed you, envied you and most people said you cheated,
Still, you stood together with Uncle Bill, a pair for the ages there’s no denyin’
He in a hoody, you in your Uggs thinking, dude, if you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’.

We saw fifty TDs in one magical season, a cheer with every toss
We saw Julian and Welker, and for one shining moment, that badass Randy Moss,
The defense would bend but wouldn’t break and we had champagne by the bottle
And there were Superbowl rings and amazing comebacks and, for you, a supermodel.

So many priceless memories and years of NFL domination and Tommy at his peak
You were pinpoint accuracy, clutch plays and the king of the QB sneak,
And if we don’t win another game, if the run is over and it’s time to take a knee
We will leave a timeless legacy, one G.O.A.T., one ass … Tommy & me.