Underwear Secrets

I read in the paper that they will no longer show the Victoria’s Secret Underwear Show (or whatever it’s actually called) on network TV. This has to be heartbreaking news for the seven pervs in Nebraska that don’t get cable. I actually didn’t know that Victoria Secret was still a thing, I mean, last century if you intercepted one of their catalogs in the mail it meant you were having a pretty good day, but that was twenty years ago. Maybe they’ve been keeping their existence a secret.

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Inexplicable

Most days I wake up believing I have a fairly good grasp of life’s basic truths, but then I leave the house and see what people do and how they spend their time and money and I realize just how much in life can’t be explained. It makes me sad because this unexplainable phenomenon really signals that we are generally becoming dumber as a species and that we are sheep who can be driven to action by hipsters we hear or see on a smartphone. For example …

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