One time, between jobs I worked at Starbucks. Actually, working would be overstating things. I’ve never actually had a cup of coffee (truly) so I’d never actually been in a Starbucks, but I’d heard that it was where slackers and caffeine groupies and people on the dole often gather to poach free Wi-Fi, posture as if conducting real business and discuss the metaphysical merits of the scone, so one day I channeled my inner hipster and went there.