I used to eat Dodgers peanuts. I’d laugh at the losers who ate Angels or Padres peanuts. The Dodgers peanuts just tasted better and they’d always be the first ones gone from the peanut display at Ralph’s, leaving sack after sack of lame Halo nuts that no one would ever buy. But when you’re team kicks you in the nuts, well, you need to reevaluate your nut consumption.
I found reference material that asserts there are fifty-three edible nuts. I wasn’t actually looking for nuttiness, it found me (I need to make that clear). The list is interesting and I think we should discuss it, but I can tell you right off the bat that, while there may technically be fifty-three kinds of nuts you can eat, there are really only four that deliver any kind of eating satisfaction whatsoever. In order to provide clarification, I have included a photograph of three of the four (the pistachio refused to be photographed for this article).
Well, I don’t actually live with him, I mean, I would, but I don’t think he has room … What I mean to say is that I kinda have a lot of Snoopy stuff around, in every room, and I’ve read lots of comics and some books and there are calendars and lunch pails and rubber soap dishes from fifty years ago that cost five bucks and while we don’t technically live together I think we understand each other and so we sorta live in the same metaphysical space.