Ever been to Kohl’s? It sounds like it should be a German Hofbrauhaus but I can assure you, there’s no beer involved. No man would ever go there of his own accord. If you find yourself alone and in a Kohl’s parking lot, then you my friend are in a dark desperate place. Get help. Reach out to someone, because this kind of confusion doesn’t go away on its own. Reach between your legs, take inventory and get the hell out of there. I’d hate to see your life end up at a Dollar Tree or a Nordstrom Rack or, holy fuck, the Burlington Coat Factory.
It all went sideways for me on account of I don’t wear long pants.