Today is All Souls Day. It’s mostly a Catholic thing. You’re supposed to say a prayer for the dead, well, for the souls of the dead. You can put money in a Novena card and professional prayers will say prayers for your loved ones. I think it’s worth the investment.
If a guy has a red nose he’s a drunk. If a guy has a red ass he’s chapped all the time. If a guy has a brown nose he’s a butt kisser. If a guy has yellow teeth he has a hygiene problem. If a guy has brown teeth he’s too chummy with the dude with the brown nose. If a guy has a black eye he blocked a punch with his face. If a guy has pinkeye he’s been touching the guy with the brown nose. If a guy has purple toes his shoes are too tight. If a guy has green ears he’s an Irish elf and if he has blue balls he needs to find love. Me? The only colored part I’m looking for is a green thumb.
Every time I leave Corvallis I’m always kinda bummed, for myriad reasons probably, but mostly because, well, I never see any beavers. I have a solution for that, for helping the Oregon State community be more beaver. The beaver is a darn fine mascot – underrated on many fronts – and it’s about time he transitions from his two-dimensional depiction on t-shirts and koozies to a role more in keeping with a rodent of his stature.