Sports Scene – Page 6 – They're Just Words

Posted on March 31, 2018March 21, 2018 by Patrick

The Candy Bully

Well, there was no suspenseful ending here. No halfcourt shot at the buzzer, no bases-loaded bottom-of-the-ninth drama, no ball sailing through the uprights as time expires, no unknown candy from some small town riding in on a licorice train to shock the candy world. No, this was an old-fashion ass-kicking; the big kid on the block pushing around a bunch of kindergarteners. Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups has been crowned champion of the Best Candy Ever Tournament, and while there were some sweet performances by some unlikely treats, it wasn’t really very close.

Posted on March 24, 2018March 21, 2018 by Patrick

It’s Time To Quit The Dodgers

I quit the Dodgers today. No, I wasn’t on the team … well, I was kinda on the team for a really long time, but about five years ago the Dodgers told me they didn’t need me anymore, that they didn’t really need my support and that they were perfectly capable of NOT winning the World Series without me. They said that I could still hang around if I wanted. I think they still want me to go to their games, yeah I think they do, me and the millions of other saps that they’ve been kicking in the balls for the past five years. But they’re not willing to do anything else for me like holding down ticket prices or selling me one beer for less than the price of a thirty-rack or allowing me to tailgate in their parking lot after making the three-hour drive to the stadium … or making it possible for me to watch them play baseball on my TV. I thought I could hold on. I can’t. I thought it could still be fun to follow them armed only with a newspaper and a transistor radio. It’s not. So I quit.

Posted on March 3, 2018March 1, 2018 by Patrick

Screw Basketball, Here’s The Real Sweet Sixteen

You can fill out a college basketball bracket if you want but this year, thankfully, there’s a super-sweet alternative. Welcome to the Best Candy Ever Tournament, a sixty-four candy contest that is sure to give you extra energy, dislodge fillings and, should you find it necessary to eat all sixty-four treats to help you feel confident in your selections, render you unable to button your pants by Easter.