Researchers at Vanderbilt University have determined that dogs are smarter than cats. Turns out dogs have bigger brains, and more importantly, dogs have roughly 530 million neurons in that brain, while cats have about 250 million. The experts say that neurons in an animal’s cerebral cortex are a hallmark of intelligence. I knew this. We all knew this. The people at Vanderbilt are seemingly working on getting degrees in obvious.
In the late 1950s, U.S. Strategic Air Command had a policy of Mutually Assured Destruction. Meaning they had planes regularly circling the earth with thermonuclear bombs. The theory being that if Russia attacked America, we would already be airborne to strike back with our own nukes, thereby destroying both sides. I think there’s a lot of stuff the government knows, that the government is doing that they’re not telling me about … and I’m okay with that.
I made 6,120 school lunches. That’s a real number, adjusted for inflation and school holidays. It wasn’t hard, there’s a basic winning formula. School can stress the little bastards out so I always figured, if nothing else, my kids should be able to look into their lunch sacks and find something that would put a smile on their face and help them momentarily forget about that bitch of a principal Misses Fartknocker. School-aged kids used to be able to count on two things: recess and lunch, well, not so much anymore.