Posted on by Patrick

Books & People Are Overrated (literally)

Everything’s overrated. That’s not just my opinion, and I’m not just having a hypercritical day. I mean, scientifically, literally, I think everything’s overrated. We rate a lot of things in everyday life, things like books and movies and restaurants and stupid blog posts and, anyway, I think there’s a rating bias. I think people, in very large numbers, say they like things more than they really do. It’s counter-intuitive really because most humans love being haters. We love to criticize and point out flaws and kick the wounded YouTube video while it’s down. So what gives? Well, it’s something I call crowd or associated bias.

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Posted on by Patrick

It’s All Fun & Games Until The Cockroaches Come Out

It’s all fun and games in the world of gender equality until the toilet is clogged or the trash needs to be taken out or until the spiders and cockroaches come out of hiding. One early morning at work I was minding my own business when I heard, “Oh, look there’s Pat!” Contrary to their tone, these nice female coworkers weren’t really happy to see me, rather, they were latching on to the first male to pass by … it seemed they needed someone to exterminate the three-inch cockroach that was making its way from one end of the breakroom to the other.

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Posted on by Patrick

Living In Bikini Bottom

The first thing most women usually do when they come to my house is slip into a bathing suit. I like women and in many situations, I really like them in bathing suits so this phenomenon should be one of the big perks of my life. It’s not (it turns out my wide sells swimsuits). Having perfect strangers in bikinis primping in every bathroom of my house on a sunny Saturday afternoon seems like a rockin’ start to a real-life adult entertainment scene but it’s not like that. It’s much more like the slow torture that accompanies a trip to the mall. Have you ever been forced at gunpoint to shop with your wife? For clothes? Do you recall the awkwardness? Can you remember the cackling sound that seventeen women make when they talk about fabric and shades of violet and geometric patterns and how good they would look if they could just lose those last fifty-six pounds?

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