Posted on by Patrick

Duck, Duck, Magpie

A duck walks into a movie theater, waddles straight down to the first row and flutters up into his seat. The guy next to him looks over, then double-takes. “Say, aren’t you a duck?” The duck replies, “Indeed, a mallard.” “That’s odd,” says the gentleman, “Why would you fly in to see this movie?” “Well,” said the duck, “I really liked the book.”  

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Posted on by Patrick

At The “Connah” Of History

If you go to Boston you’ll undoubtedly see a store on the corner – the Connah Stah. Sully and Fitz will buy smokes there and two-dollar scratchers. There will be a bar next door but they’ll call it a tavern because that’s what they called it when it was built not long after the Pilgrims arrived. There will be a couple of TVs most likely tuned to the hockey game and if you want to change the channel you’ll need to ask the bah tenda (good luck with that). Within a block or two, there will be twelve places to buy cannolis and donuts made by Dunkin, but what you’ll find in equal abundance are Patriots because Boston is really located on the connah of history.

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Posted on by Patrick

May Fun Facts Fill Your New Year

Fun Facts: Freeform Edition

Life is mostly about the pursuit of knowledge and, therefore, the collection of fun facts. All my fun facts were harvested personally … They started as a physical book purchase from Amazon, then moved to a Kindle download where I bookmarked them by hand; at the conclusion of a book they were transcribed into a Snoopy Moleskine, and finally, they appear here for your personal wonderment.
  • Once found in every habitat between the Arctic Circle and present-day Mexico City, gray wolves were all but eliminated in the Lower Forty-Eight states by the 1920s.
  • John Adams, our second president defended the British in the trial that followed the Boston Massacre … He was victorious as to this day no one knows who instigated the bloodshed.
  • Adolph Coors III was killed in a botched kidnapping attempt in 1960; he was allergic to beer.
  • Chester Arthur went to Yellowstone National Park during his time as president and along with a friend from the Senate caught 105 pounds of fish in a single day.
  • Allen Collins the lead guitarist for Lynyrd Skynyrd was arrested eighteen times between 1974 and 1985, most of the time for driving while intoxicated.
  • Black is not a color, rather it is the absence of color.
  • At the very first United States Congress in 1789 there were only eleven states represented as North Carolina and Rhode Island had yet to ratify the Constitution.
  • Once at Brooklyn’s Ebbets Field, Dodgers public address announcer Tex Richards got irritated with the fans who had hung their coats on the field railing and announced, “Will the fans sitting down the foul line please remove their clothes!”
  • The Grateful Dead had only one cardinal rule, “Don’t impose your trip on anyone else.”
  • Solitaire was originated in Germany and was known as “Patience.”
  • There’s a spruce tree in Dalarna, Sweden that is about 9,500 years old.
  • The Tampa NFL team is called the Buccaneers, but there were other good options including The Godfathers, the Aquanuts, Florida Fruits and Tampa Suns of Beaches.
  • “Courage is being scared to death … and saddling up anyway,” John Wayne.