It’s All Fun & Games Until The Cockroaches Come Out

It’s all fun and games in the world of gender equality until the toilet is clogged or the trash needs to be taken out or until the spiders and cockroaches come out of hiding. One early morning at work I was minding my own business when I heard, “Oh, look there’s Pat!” Contrary to their tone, these nice female coworkers weren’t really happy to see me, rather, they were latching on to the first male to pass by … it seemed they needed someone to exterminate the three-inch cockroach that was making its way from one end of the breakroom to the other.

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Living In Bikini Bottom

The first thing most women usually do when they come to my house is slip into a bathing suit. I like women and in many situations, I really like them in bathing suits so this phenomenon should be one of the big perks of my life. It’s not (it turns out my wide sells swimsuits). Having perfect strangers in bikinis primping in every bathroom of my house on a sunny Saturday afternoon seems like a rockin’ start to a real-life adult entertainment scene but it’s not like that. It’s much more like the slow torture that accompanies a trip to the mall. Have you ever been forced at gunpoint to shop with your wife? For clothes? Do you recall the awkwardness? Can you remember the cackling sound that seventeen women make when they talk about fabric and shades of violet and geometric patterns and how good they would look if they could just lose those last fifty-six pounds?

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“Ages Ago, Last Night”

Music and sports are the two legs that true happiness walks on. In many ways, the classic version of each is best. Sinatra sings a song, “Last Night When We Were Young” about the passage of time and how it can at once feel like ages ago or just last night. Sports can be like that.

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