Remember that commercial where everyone was in line at a convenience store? It was a long line and it was moving pretty good because everyone was paying with his bank card … then a guy stepped up and paid with cash and that fucked everything up.
It seems counterintuitive, but the Cranky Old Guy gets a lot of mail. A fair amount of the correspondence is from people who want the old dude to cheer up and snap out of it and consider the brighter side of life. These are the same people who rescue pets and marry broken people that they think they can fix.
Sports is really the main reason why television was invented. It’s the reason we own seven TVs – so we can watch games in every room. Back in Japan, Sony thought up the concept of television so that he could watch the NFL draft from his home in Yokohama, then he invented the remote so that he could toggle between the draft and the New York Yankees game.