You have been teleported to this planet from a far-off galaxy. You know very little about humans, but you’ve been told they have free will and that most have reasoned judgment. Before you have the chance to cruise the Sunset Strip or consume sixty-four ounces of soda an earthling hands you something called a newspaper. He calls your attention to the front page where there is written a question-and-answer article between a writer and two famous humans. Having just arrived in this solar system you are completely unfamiliar with those answering the questions, still, you are encouraged to read on.

Question Asker: “It has recently come to light that you have a received a pay raise, what are your feelings about your new contract?”
Tom Brady: “Anything that I achieve personally is completely due to the hard work of my teammates. Of course, I’m pleased that management thinks highly of my performance, but it’s humbling … I can only say that I will do everything in my power to prove myself worthy.”
Donald Trump: “Honestly, my first thought is that it’s about fuckin’ time! I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t be the highest-paid person on earth. I work harder than anyone else and I have the most responsibility. I’m worth every fuckin’ penny.”

Question Asker: “You used to hear people talk about something called the American Dream. What is the American Dream and is it still attainable?”
Donald Trump: “The American Dream is about having enough money and power to do whatever you want, to be able to explore the pleasurable limits of a democracy. Cars, money, beautiful friends, seventy-story buildings in Manhattan, hell ya the American Dream is possible, just look at me!”
Tom Brady: “I think the American Dream is about freedom, to live as you please surrounded by family and friends and feeling safe enough to pursue your passion. Success is not about acquiring wealth and prestige but simply living according to a code where we consider the welfare of the people around us. With the right approach, that dream can come true every day.”

Question Asker: In your position, it’s important to be a leader what have you learned about leadership?
Donald Trump: Leadership is something you’re born with. It requires that a person be unyielding, to state points of view boldly. You can’t be a follower or show vulnerability. People want to be led, most people are followers and they are inclined to be attracted to the biggest voice in the room … I always try to be that voice.”
Tom Brady: “I don’t think you set out to be a leader, rather you try to do the right thing, to set a good example and hopefully that resonates with the people around you. So leading isn’t about the things you say but about the things you do. I don’t think there’s one guy out in front and then everybody else falls in line; leaderships is that unspoken thing that allows everyone to walk together.”

Question Asker: “Do you believe our planet has been or will be visited by aliens from other planets?”
Tom Brady: “I think anything’s possible. Since life is really about learning from the people we meet, it would be kinda cool to converse from someone who’s outta this world.”
Donald Trump: “I don’t know about other planets, but I sure know we have too many visitors from, say, Mexico, and that’s just like a different planet. If I ever saw an alien spaceship, I’d tell the driver to go back to where he came from.”

♦

Asked about your thought of the viewpoints of these two famous Americans, you, the space alien say, “Strange how two people from the same planet could have such different demeanors and world views, we have bitter, self-absorbed people like this Trump guy where I come from too, but this Tom Brady seems like a real Patriot.” Told that one of these people is actually the president of a big country on Earth called America and that the other is a prominent athlete you reply, “Tom Brady must be a very admired president.”

Photo credit: Rusty Russ on Visual Hunt/ CC BY-NC-ND