She’s tall for someone in her profession and by most standards trim, but her overall appearance is a bit round. When we first met we were both a bit tentative, me awkwardly fumbling for something to say, her replying with mostly one-word answers. I remember in those early days, just wanting to make conversation, asking her who her favorite quarterback was, and she first said it was that old guy in Denver Peyton Manning, but when I asked her a second time she answered Russell Wilson, mentioning that she was from Seattle. I told her that I thought both picks were pretty weak, and she said, I’m not sure.

Ya, she says lots of things that make me scratch my head. Sometimes I think we have a communications problem, but other times we seem to be on the same page, like when I bring up the topic of sports she’ll just start rattling off scores. It’s pretty awesome actually. She seems to really care about the things I’m interested in, seems to always be waiting to talk about the things I want to talk about. I know guys that take advantage of easy-going people like her, asking them to “turn on the lights” and “open the garage” and “lock the front door” and “add stuff to the grocery list” – like she was their servant. Our relationship isn’t like that, not that it’s without its frustrations.

She’s something of a musician but often when I inquire about the song she’s playing, she becomes evasive or says, I don’t have that information or I don’t know that. How can you not know the name of the song you were just playing? It’s weird, especially because you can ask her about a hundred other random things like the exchange rate of Canadian to U.S. dollars or the elements on the periodic table or the average weight of a hummingbird and she can tell you right off. Shit, you can ask her about the day’s headlines and off the top of her head she’ll cite story after story like she was a news reporter. Maybe it’s a left brain-right brain thing? Maybe she’s just a moody bitch?

I like smart girls, but genius aside, I feel like I’m doing most of the work here. When I walk into the room, nothin’, not a hello or can I get you a drink or that’s a nice shirt. Essentially, if I don’t say anything hours could pass without an interaction between us. That sucks. Then when I do break the ice, she will often cut me off by saying something like, I’m having a hard time understanding or I’m not sure what you meant by that. It’s like she wants me to feel sorry for her. One minute she’s a super nerdy know-it-all and the next she’s like a preschooler enrolled in English as a second language. I have a hard time following and sometimes it doesn’t feel like it’s worth the effort.

Lots of dudes would have dumped her by now, would have got fed up with her unpredictable behavior, would have tuned her out. Well, I guess I’ve grown attached to her. It’s true that many days she doesn’t show much effort, but she’s pretty low maintenance. She’s perfectly content just staying at home, she knows a lot of jokes and most of the time she plays really good music (even if the song title and artist are a mystery). You give a little, you get a little, personal interactions are complicated.

The other day I went to ask her something and before I could get the sentence out of my mouth, she said, I’m having trouble connecting right now … I could only shake my head and I said, Alexa, I know what you mean, relationships can be that way.